Hashes

1158

Date : 30/10/12
Hare : Crazy , Steady
Scribe : Mr Chips
Venue : The George
Hounds : 29     Dogs : 0
Recorded distance : 10.56 km
Recorded time : 102.05 min
Uphillness : 485.30 ft

We're all agreed, there's nothing worse 
Than Hash reports set out in verse:
They nearly always never scan, 
So chuck 'em down the lavvy pan.

And what about when set to song?
They carry on for far too long:
Bridges over troubled water?
Your really shouldn't ever aughter
Stray from paths or bricks and mortar.

Stick to drinking, scattering flour,
Keep the Short to just an hour:
Hold dear the meal hosted by Rose,
And stick to reports done in prose.

The run map shows the flight path that our Lancasters took to Dresden – a rainbow coloured chart of blobs, dashes, compass bearings and cloud height that had the Shorts running off piste seconds after the split. Only Deefor, collar and harness blinking into the night air, knew the way but no-one was prepared to follow him across Langley Park's lake, even though they had been running through adjacent fields that were wetter than the lake.

Dick's white-faced clown make-up made up for the lack of moonlight on those rare occasions that he kept his mouth shut, Mick's rusty features terrified the dogs and Natasha's ghostly, ghastly make-up and cloak terrified Mick. The Halloween costumes of some Hashers – notably your scribe and Judy – were so subtle as to be lost on the rest of the Hash (and the scribe himself).

The Shorts were in heaven. Firstly Maggie needed less than ten minutes to teach all the males how to open a park gate – keep wearing the Red Riding Death costume, Maggie. Secondly, by picking up the outgoing trail in reverse, everyone was back at The George before 9pm giving all the time in the world to lavish praise on the Hares for setting the first flat trail since Run No 1. The draught beer was far worse than any that Graham has ever produced and the delay to chip scoff was making even the Longs twitchy.

As the last of the Hash zipped themselves into their sleeping bags for the night, the chips appeared – oh happy day (for day it nearly was). Hands, knees and bumpsadaisies piled in and all was well as Roger handed out a couple of T shirt awards to Hashers other than Barney.

Nice work, Allan, Sandra and Davy Deefor Crocket. And to all those who made (considerable) efforts to dress up for the occasion, don't ask your scribe along for the next costume run.