Hashes

1217

Date : 03/12/13
Hare : Speedbump , Sarah
Scribe : Rocky Road
Hounds : 35     Dogs : 0
Recorded distance : 10.07 km
Recorded time : 83.43 min
Uphillness : 754.70 ft
He said " Where were you last night?"
She said " Well, like I decided to go hashing!"
He said " WOW, like I'm impressed, what like happened?"
She said " Well, like we got off to a bad start. We were like driving down like Gravelly Way and there was so much like traffic because of the diversion,. Suddenly there was like a loud bang and we had like a flat tyre."
He said "OMG were you like alright?"
She said "Yea, we like changed the tyre and put on that like funny little spare thingy."
He said " Just like that you like changed a tyre?"
She said " Yea it was like easy, I just like held the torch."
He said " Were you like just a bit late?"
She said " Yea, I just got changed in the car like and jumped out as they all like ran off down the road. They say Sarah, the hare, had a problem with her numbers at the start like;  'er a teacher 'n all."
He said " So where did you go?"
She said " Gawd knows! It's like dark innit. Oh, I remember, yeh, we passed like a pond and the GM's house and we did a right and a left onto like a footpath. Oh and then yeh, you won't believe this but there was this like hashing cow!!"
He said "OMG like what's a hashing cow?"
She said " Right, there was like this herd of cows yeh, one of them got split up from the rest like and it decided to follow us through the gate like, through the shiggy 'n all!"
He said " Shiggy what like is that!"
She said " Right, yeh, it's just mud yeh, like you get round gates in like fields of cows. Aaannd  you won't believe this…."
He said "Wot!"
She said "Yeh, like the cow only went and got in like, the middle of the pack and followed them right down the field …."
He said "Was like Jo there? Like she def doesn't like cows! "
She said " Well I didn't hear her scream or nuffin! But I did see her like later in the woods, yeh."
He said "I bet she was like well scared."
She said " Yeh. Good job Kerry wasn't there. She like hates cows too.
When we got to like the next gate, you won't believe what Mike like did? "
He said "Nah, what?"
She said " He only like walked right up to the cow."
He said " What happened like?"
She said "The cow like ran away in the dark."
He said " Don't blame it! So did you like run far?"
She said " Yeh, miles and like miles, but like I only went short; the longs do like even more miles!"
He said " They must be mad, like, in the dark, like, in the woods 'n all"
She said " Yea….and they do like on-backs. They were heard singing 'the hashers went in two by two'. "Very sociable" says Alan. Like there were lots of 2 on-backs. Sarah kept adding them like on the short run. At least us shorties can like walk a bit and like ignore the on-backs like."
He said " Where did like the longs go?"
She said " Dunno. Probably down to like Little Missenden by Affrick's Farm like and back up the 'ill, I 'spect."
He said "Where like did you go?" 
She said " Well, there were like woods, then like a path, some houses near a pub - the Bat and Ball I fink, no time to play there like, and a field and some more woods and a road with some posh houses Beaumond End p'raps, then like past a farm and down a hill and up a hill like."
He said "It sounds like miles. Any more like cows though?
She said " Naw, it got a bit like cold, so we had to run a bit, up this like field and Roz sent them up a path that like the dog walkers use…. Nuf said! She and Maggie were like on the other side of the fence, no poo there like."
He said " Nice one Roz! Did you like ever get back to the pub?"
She said " Yea, it was like 9 o'clock, perfect timing, well done Sarah!'"
He said "What about the longs like? Were they like lost forever?" 
She said " Naw, they always turn up like sometime, later or late."
He said " What did you do then, like at the pub?"
She said " Right, well, like, a few pints were sunk, some coke, some lemonade you know like and there was like lot of noise, I think Maggie won a Tosca or summink for moosing in a cow pat, but like the Tosca was missing so she got like a 'credit' card instead. She said she's still like trying to bleach the green stain out of her knockers!" (Typing error?) Also I think it was mentioned that Ellen who had like helped to set the hash, was walking at the back of the pack, when Roger says to her that a slow jog at 4 miles an hour takes less effort than walking. Ellen replies "You don't have boobs though" and Roger like says "No you're right. If I did I would probably get distracted!" So would we all Roger. 
He said " So it was like a good evening?"
She said " Yea, we like had these bowls and bowls of scrummy chips,  thanks to Ant and Sarah. You won't believe they only moved house a couple of weeks ago and can't even like get in their loft!"