Date : 11/06/19
Hare : Barney
Scribe : Pink Panter & Glenn-fiddich
Venue : The Wheel
Hounds : 32     Dogs : 2
Recorded distance : 10.50 km
Recorded time : 87.45 min
Uphillness : 1157.00 ft

Livvy sent in a run's report even though she wasn't there (well done Livvy) which I've included below, but a new write up has just arrived from Glenn as well. ed.

The location of The Wheel in Naphill meant that we all already suspected that it was likely to be a hilly hash. It would have been nigh on impossible for Barney to set a run from there that was flat! It was wet too, but Barney had wisely decided to set the trail earlier in the day, as opposed to many of us who are only able to set it at the weekend.

We had two virgin hashers who introduced themselves in the car park before we set off, but at that point I didn't know I was going to be writing this (Roger asked me when we got back to the pub after the run), so I'm afraid I didn't make a note of their names! (Sorry guys if you read this!) Dave 'Yob' Hibbins put in a rare appearance, which was an added bonus.

As we set off conditions were damp as we made our way towards Walters Ash. Not long after we'd got going, we managed to 'mis-place' the shorts who had wandered off somewhere. Whilst we tried to locate them, Hells Belles insisted that everyone did a huge on-back until we'd worked out what had happened. I think they'd taken some kind of short cut, and we soon found them.

The route for the longs split off from the shorts at Courns Wood before heading down into Speen and the lovely-named Flowers Bottom, before rejoining the shorts route at Walters Ash and finishing via Naphill Common.

On the long route, there seemed to be a lot of nettles*, stinging anyone’s whose legs were not covered up (such as mine)! There was a little bit of drama as we came across an uphill field with young cows in it. Chicken Licken's bovinaphobia kicked in and a human shield, led by her gallant husband, Glenn-fiddich, was created around her to protect her from the cute little cows. I’m pleased to report that everyone emerged unscathed!

When we got back to the pub, aside from Roger accosting me at the car to write this, we were treated to chip butties and one of the finest selections of ales on the hash circuit – probably the best way to end a hash!

Roger made his usual irreverent speech before reeling off all of the May hashes and the bike hash in a bid to determine who would win the already-delayed-by-one-week Magneto. However, when he arrived upon the recipient, Keyboard Ken for something he did at the bike hash, he wasn’t there. Even if he had been, Roger didn’t have the statuette anyway! Personally I think that the winners of the quiz on May 11th were overlooked - not even mentioned - for TAFKAT (The Award Formerly Known As Toscar).

*Recipe for Nettle Soup


1 tbsp olive oil, plus extra for drizzling
1 onion, chopped
1 carrot, diced
1 leek, washed and finely sliced
1 large floury potato (Maris Piper or similar), thinly sliced
1l vegetable stock
400g stinging or dead nettles, washed, leaves picked
50g butter, diced
50ml double cream


Heat the oil in a large saucepan over a medium heat. Add the onion, carrot, leek and potato, and cook for 10 minutes until the vegetables start to soften. Add the stock and cook for a further 10-15 minutes until the potato is soft.

Add the nettle leaves, simmer for 1 min to wilt, then blend the soup. Season to taste, then stir in the butter and cream. Serve the soup drizzled with extra oil and scattered with dead nettle flowers, if you have them.

And here's Livvy's write up; feel free to compare recipes.

After all the torrential rain we had all day last Monday and it raining off and on all day last Tuesday I decided not to go hashing. However my sources tell me it stayed dry for the duration of the hash, but there was quite a bit of shiggy. My sources also tell me it was quite hilly and I was obviously not the only person put off by the rain as there weren’t that many hashers. I hear that Ken won the Tosca, but neither Ken or the Tosca were there! 

Seeing as my brownies went down so well when I set my hash I thought I would put the recipe for them on here. 

Coconut Blondie Brownies:
8ozs butter 
2 cups of light brown sugar 
1tsp vanilla essence 
2 eggs 
1 1/2 cups plain flour 
3/4 tsp baking powder 
1/2 tsp salt
1 1/2 cups chopped pecans 
2 cups desiccated coconut 
3/4 cup of white chocolate chips 

Preheat oven to 180° and grease a 13” x 9” baking tray and line with baking paper. Melt the butter in a saucepan, stir in the sugar and vanilla. Slightly beat the eggs, then add to the pan. Mix together the flour, baking powder and salt, then add to the pan. Stir in the pecans and coconut, then spread the mixture evenly into the baking tray. Bake for 30 minutes on the middle shelf. Leave to cool in the baking tray. 


What kind of exercise do lazy people do? Diddly squats 

I freaked out the electrician by opening the door naked. I couldn’t tell what gave him a bigger shock – whether the fact that I was naked, or that I got into his house.

What did the Tin Man say when he got run over by a roller? 
“Curses! Foil again!” 

My boss told me to have a good day...... so I went home.

Why do cows have hooves instead of feet?
They lactose 

What did the elephant say to the naked man?
How do you breathe out of that? 

A child’s observation: If a mother laughs at dad’s jokes, we have guests.