Hashes

1548

Date : 11/02/20
Hare : Moose
Scribe : Keyboard Ken
Hounds : 33     Dogs : 4
Recorded distance : 10.63 km
Recorded time : 96.78 min
Uphillness : 519.67 ft

I’m going to keep this short because I suspect that nobody reads my run reports anyway but mostly to make room for a few jokes at the end.

So I arrive at the Belle Vue in plenty of time for the start (7:20pm) to find Mick already parked up. I am almost sure that on hash days he gets to the pub around lunchtime for reasons best known to himself (hic).

Ade then appears around the corner and despite the freezing temperature, in his best winter shorts! Brrr.
Later with the hash finally called to order, Ade issues his mantra for the evening "Come On You Blues!". Are Chelsea playing this evening?
[That worked well - they were beaten 0-1 by the truly awful Fleetwood Town... - Ed.]

We head on down the road towards Bowerdean and I decide that I’m going short. We then wend our way along various footpaths and roads, crossing the London Road, eventually climbing up through the woods behind Ade’s house, but we couldn’t see his house from there.

Cruelly Ade then let most of the runners who where intending to go short, go past the Long/Short split before marking it, so only five of us actually went on the short leg across the Rye and back to the pub.

I never found out where the struggling shorts and the longs went but it was rumoured that they went as far as the Sports Centre. Wow!

All runners eventually arrived back at the friendly retro pub, where chips aplenty were served, courtesy of the local fish and chip shop. An excellent hash with not too much shiggy.

A giant panda walked into a restaurant. He ordered some food, ate it, then pulled a gun and blew the brains out of the waiter. Alerted by the shots, the manager appeared just as the panda was making his way to the door.
"Hey you!" yelled the manager. "You just shot my waiter. Where do you think you're going?"
The animal replied calmly, "I’m a panda. Look it up in the dictionary."
When the panda had gone, the manager thumbed through the dictionary.
Sure enough, under panda it said: "Furry mammal, lives in China. Eats shoots
and leaves."

What did the doe say as she came running out of the trees? “That’s the last time I do that for two bucks.”

Why do ducks have big feet? To stamp out forest fires.
Why do elephants have big feet? To stamp out burning ducks.

What has two grey legs and two brown legs? An elephant with diarrhoea.