Hashes

1551

Pub of the Year 2019
Date : 03/03/20
Hare : Scribbler
Scribe : Steady
Hounds : 43     Dogs : 4
Recorded distance : 7.60 km
Recorded time : 63.55 min
Uphillness : 932.65 ft

When a car pulled up outside his house at 7pm this evening Hawkeye hopped in, embarrassingly for him, and shockingly for the occupants, it wasn’t us! I wonder who was more surprised? Nice one Hawkeye, I can feel the Toscar winging its way to you as I write!

Hash 1551, as well as being a palindrome, was awarding HWH3 Pub of the Year 2019 to the Chequers Inn, Wheeler End. There was the obligatory group photo at the start then the hash briefing. The short/long split was at the pub, I went short, I now know this was a mistake. Audrey was wearing boots, she lives locally, this should have been a clue as to the terrain! It was muddy - very, very muddy. Occasionally if you were lucky there would be a rock in the middle of the mud you could almost stand on, mostly though it was just very muddy. Fortunately, there were no barbed wire fences, or cows for that matter, but apart from that little bonus it was pretty grim. Ken reckoned that “Matt set this to punish us shorts”. After a particularly horrendous section we came across an arrow with an S pointing in the direction we’d just come along. What!?! The group huddled round it in amazement debating how this disaster could have occurred and what we should do. Going back was not an option, fortunately we had ace navigators Audrey & Gerry with us. Back at the pub Audrey let me into a secret, they’d extended the route a little, cheeky monkeys!

Alan went long, he says:

"The early short/long split meant the longs could head off at full speed. We soon found - or rather lost - ourselves in a selection of tracks the hare was pretty sure he would have recognised if it had not been dark! Mark eagerly headed off, followed by most of the pack and hare, until it was decided an on-back to get back to the flour would be a more sensible option. The going was brisk with mild shiggy. Percy and Bodhi kept the pack alert by constantly playing chase games like two furry bowling balls."

Arriving back at the pub at almost the same time as the shorts, the hash had soon emptied most of the beer options and moved onto the discounted bottled selection. Roger gave a speech and presented the POTY and Toscar for a soul-less runner near Bledlow, if you want the details you really should have been there...

Pub Jokes

A man walks into a bar with a roll of tarmac under his arm. He says
‘Two pints please. One for me and one for the road’

Comic Sans, Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar.
The bar tender yells ‘Get out! We don’t serve your type in here!’

The bar tender says ‘We don’t serve Time Travellers in here’
A Time Traveller walks into a bar.

A man goes into a bar with his small pet newt called Tiny.
‘A pint for me and a half for Tiny please’ he says to the bar tender.
The bar tender asks ‘why do you name him Tiny?’
The many replies ‘because he’s my newt’

After a long day at work, a weasel stopped at his local pub for a drink...
As he steps up to the bar, the bartender greeted him: “Well, how are you today, sir?”
“Tired”, says the weasel. “Oh, you need a whiskey, then.”
“No, thank you” replies the weasel. “Weasels don’t believe in drinking alcohol.”
“Well, you’re at a bar son. What do weasels drink at a bar if they won’t drink liquor?” the bartender says, obviously annoyed.
“POP”, goes the weasel.