Date : 06/05/14
Scribe : Chicken Licken
Venue : The Crown
Hounds : 31     Dogs : 0
Recorded distance : 9.88 km
Recorded time : 98.42 min
Uphillness : 661.40 ft

Another Tuesday night with a very worrying looking sky, it's black clouds that scream "you're going to get wet", but the rain came early and I got soaked getting in the car. A pot-holed journey to The Crown in Radnage, where our hare was nowhere to be seen. Dashing Dick was still out laying flour so Natasha filled us in on the usual detail and that we would hopefully pick up our hare along the way!

Unfortunately I can't remember a great deal of where we went, but then again I never do! The long/short split came early which scuppered my plans to go short as I was mid-conversation and couldn't possibly stop talking at the point, so I had to go long. The route then got pretty hilly, we went up, then down a hill, then up another hill, then down again, then a very steep hill took us to what felt like the highest point in South Bucks. Whilst still recovering from the lack of oxygen we met up with Dick coming the other way, stroke of luck really as we were heading in the wrong direction. Another stroke of luck now having our hare was that he took a few sensible hashers on a mini-short to cut out another big hill.

Ed's aside, the real hill was the hill from hell - not just that but the hill from hell with extra steps to give a killer "burn" leg wokout Even Hells Bells walked (Ed's aside to his own aside-, OK she only walked 'cos I was too tired to get out of her way for a while, but walking is still walking!)

Ed's somewhat sacrcastic aside - "Thanks" for the hill Dick.

Ed's last aside - sorry about all of the asides.

Amongst conversation as we ambled on on the mini-short we learnt of all the possible ways and timings of travel to and from Cumbria. At the bottom of the hill the longs eventually caught up and off we went.

Time ticked on, as it tends to do, and along came another long/short split. I was all out of interesting conversation, well, conversation, so decided to cut the last bit out and go short along with the others sensible ones mentioned before. From the sound of it that was a good move as even Helen found it tough going so I'd probably still be on that hill now (Monday night, I like to leave these reports to the last minute, keeps Gerry sweating!)

Ed's aside I think you mis-spellt that - the t in sweating should be an r).

Ed's final "last aside" OK I lied last time about it being the last one.

Ed's second final last aside. Sorry about that.

Lovely chips and beers all round while Roger gave us the month's Tosca nominations, eventually being awarded to Audrey for being stung for a large bar bill, but graciously handing it over to Barney, who was the one who actually paid the bill. A lovely evenings hashing… apart from the flat tyre I got on the way home from those pesky pot-holes, now cunningly disguised as a puddles. My 'Damsel In Distress' call was answered by Aaron, helped ably by Dashing Dick and an audience of Helen, Simon, Louise, Peter and Twist. But the real fun came the next morning when the other tyre on the same side was flat… hmmmm, cars should have two spare tyres in them for these occasions! '

Great hash, thanks Dick, and thanks for the helping hand!