"I'm late writing this because I was at my first antenatal class last night. Let's hope I can concentrate…
I delivered Gerry and Rose to the pub on time, but despite this still had to park on the road – at the Horse and Jockey there's a lack of room to manoeuvre as you get closer to the start of the main event. There were a couple of new arrivals after us, but you could tell from the ease with which they parked that they weren't first timers.
Jane informed us that the long run was 5 miles, and the short was 3.5, which met with the approval of the group. Turns out no-one was in the mood for a prolonged labour tonight.
We set off up School Road towards the Red Lion, and down the track that leads off into the fields behind. It was a slow start, but as we ran through Brook Wood, the frequency and intensity of the on-backs started to increase – it started to dawn on us that this was going to be hard work.
Crossing the road into Common Wood, there was still no sign of the long-short split. I think the shorts were starting to fear they'd be doing this all night, and began to slow. Various attempts to encourage and goad them on were falling on deaf ears – medical intervention was starting to look like the only possible option in a few cases, particularly for Ken who was starting to really struggle with the pain.
I was still feeling in reasonable shape, and so decided to race Anthony through the woods. I pushed as hard as I could, but I was never going to win this one. Exhausted, I wound up spending the next 10 mins trying to remember how to breathe regularly again.
Out of the woods, and back to the road, we finally cut the cord from the shorts. It was around this time that we had a few teething troubles, and lost Gerry and Jess, though we only discovered the contraction in the size of our group later on.
Looping through King's Wood and back out again, the end was in sight. "One more big push" we thought, as we saw the on inn marked at the side of the road. Then suddenly it was over. Back in the pub, we were given pints of beer, which we lovingly cradled in our arms. Some members of the hash looked overcome with emotion, as though they'd never seen a pint of beer before. However, I'd always heard that it's different when it's your own pint, and you know what, they're right.
Thanks Jane for a great run, and the lashings of chips at the pub afterwards. It's nice to be able to occupy my mind with something other than impending fatherhood for a bit…!"