Chip Advisor

1281

Date : 17/02/15
Hare : Moist
Scribe : Rocky Road
Hounds : dunno     Dogs : 0
Recorded distance : 8.55 km
Recorded time : 79.20 min
Uphillness : 687.50 ft

It had been a lovely sunny day for the hare to set the hash and apparently he had time to stop for a beer en route. (The joy of being retired!) Such a day turned into a lovely starlit evening but which hashers would have time to notice when they are watching their feet and avoiding shiggy (unless your name begins with A and you run straight through it). A question arose mid -hash: ‘does the size of your feet correlate with the amount of mud you get up your bare legs?’
Check the answer on the next hash where I’m sure there’ll be plenty of shiggy and bare legs! (And high winds and blizzards says Rob)
On the subject of feet, spouse of said ‘A’ was proudly sporting new trainers and delighting in getting them christened in mud, whereas MY new trainers are safely in a box in the cupboard waiting for summer; my old trainers are sporting sticking plasters to cover the holes! I thought there was a hash tradition of drinking beer out of NEW shoes, better to keep quiet then Sarah.
The reason for my prevarication is  
a) that I haven’t a clue where the hash went because I went short and then lost the shorts (no I don’t wear shorts) 
(b) Simon guided me home (as he went Long/Short/short) AND 
(c) I have yet to receive a map. 
“They’ve been there so why do they need to know where they went” quote Sarah who was being very supportive with hash trash notes. This is true and most use gizmos to find out later anyway. Unfortunately mine decided not to get started so I did 0.00 miles in 0.000 minutes.
So gathering info back at the pub I can say that: 

  • A virgin hasher Kat was introduced and welcomed. We hope she returns. 
  • Mike Bushell, our man from the Beeb, who fancied a run and said as much on radio 2, resulting in Aud contacting him. He arrived a tad late. After consulting the walkers, he quickly parked his car on the common and soon caught the hash. A regroup had been called as Mike C. was behind, trying to find the M40 services/ or a glove, not sure which, and Ken had ‘moussed’ and was being fussed over.
  • Matt, however, was 15 minutes late, but he still caught the hash before long  (as is usual). NB it is useful to have a backmarker/Hare laying fresh arrows of the route for latecomers.
  • On the wildlife front ( apart from mad hashers) Dave and I saw a badger on the drive in - (Does that count?); Simon met a muntjak; Ant saw a mouse eating the flour; there were ‘loose’ turkeys on the long, protected by an electric fence to ‘deter foxes and hashers’.
  • The longs caught the shorts <in Quarry Wood> and Kevin put them on the correct path (where were they going?)- meanwhile Mike said a few choice words as he did a mousse and decided he hated hashing in shiggy, particularly after a long day doing ‘conversation’ work in Wendover Woods.
  • The shorts were caught going the wrong way by the hare and were very disobedient and rude, choosing to go on auto-pilot back to the pub, as they often do. Phil’s plan to all arrive at the pub together was thwarted. Sorry Phil.
  • Back at the pub the GM called order and presented Audrey with a 650 run t-shirt - wow she must have been in the hash forever! There was some reference to hiding in the bushes, but I got the wrong end of the stick, not for a comfort stop but to avoid being kidnapped in Ibstone. ( Not the first time according to Kerry - her best friend or is it her ‘bestie’.)
  • Kitty was praised for looking after dad - “Souper’
  • Ian was congratulated on his recent arrival and sleepless nights. Soon there will be 2 ‘Poppies’ running the hash.
  • Bryony and partner welcomed back from Australia . They are here to stay and did I hear talk of wedding bells?
  • Happy birthdays were sung to Antony and Jo
  • Quite a spate of birthdays and more next week.
  • Quite a spate of goodies to eat and more next week.
  • Thanks given to Phil for a good run and great chips (and no map).

24hours later…..
Now I have a map! I made one insert above see < >; but apart from common land, fields, woods and steep hills what more can I say ……… umm…..
Only that the hill from Quarry Wood Road really slowed the slow-Shorts to a walking pace with pauses for breath (they talk a lot) and the fast-Longs went via Winter Hill and did “exactly about” 5 miles. HILLS and SHIGGY about sums up the hash! and maybe beer and chips.