Chip Advisor

1174

Date : 26/02/13
Hare : John
Scribe : Waldorf
Hounds : dunno     Dogs : 0
Recorded distance : 8.96 km
Recorded time : 88.98 min
Uphillness : 548.00 ft

“Mum...mum”.   “ What dya want Micky lad”?  “Can I go out to play wiv the boys and girls down at The Humbug & Marzipan goody shop at Coleshill ... eh, Mum, eh”
“ Who’s goin then and waddya doin – don’t want you getting inta trouble wiv them Big boys”
“ Johnny’s doin a trail in sherbet and we’ve gotta find it”
“ Oh well, at least he’s half sensible. OK, you can go then but NO listening to that Moose boy wiv ‘is strange music and NO drinking Tizer wiv Barney”
“Fanks Mum, I’ll see yer later then”
“Hi ya Johnny, what’s occurin then”?   “You little uns is goin on a short sherbet trail whilst the Big uns is goin on a bloomin long trail – alright kid”?    “Let’s go”
“Ooh look, Sooper has got some sorta clockwork gizmo on ‘is arm but has gorn and forgot ‘is torch”
“ We’re goin up the track towards Ongar Hill Farm, oh goody, perhaps there will be some pigs to have a look at eh”?
“Oh well, no pigs and now we are heading down to Owlsears Wood – tempting to lick up the sherbet but will ‘ave some mud wiv it and might be sick like Helles was, although I fink ‘that was when she swigged that Mick Jagger Master stuff”
“Now we’s headin towards the place where the Gypo’s used ter camp. Left a terrible mess behind and I remember when that Alsatian had a nip at me bum when I put a sherbet trail froo ‘ere”
“ Gotta cross the Big Road – better follow them Big boys.
“ Now we’s back safe and goin froo that muddy Starveacre Wood where the farmer bunged ‘is bulls once and we got covered in bull poo”
“ Oh, I knew it. It’s up that bloomin great ‘ill and on froo what was a jungle last time we was ’ere to the road”
“ Followed the sherbet left up to the edge of that scary Hodgemoor Woods but there’s good news ‘cos Johnny says that ‘ere, us little short uns can go on froo the woods whilst them Big long uns ‘ave ter go aaallllll the way round a bloomin big loop to knacker ‘em out”
“Us little short uns is now goin on from Hodgemoor Scary Woods and on froo Highfield Grove and we’ve got Big Gerry wiv us who knows every path, stone and bitta mud hereabouts so he’ll keep us straight”
“ Faut so, I was about to cock up and go the wrong way when Big Gerry put us straight, headin us down where, sure enough, we found more sherbet and very soon came out on Botterells Lane at Stockings Farm”
“ Stevie, I know that Johnny said we could go straight back to the H & M down the road if we wanted to but the others ‘ave all gorn straight on so we’s better do the same, eh”?
“ That Stevie’s been a naughty boy wiv Jane ain’t he ‘cos she’s lookin different, kinda bigger and I fink summat’s about to ‘appen there”
“ We’ve got ter Brentford Grange Farm – no sign of the Big long uns, and we’s goin left still following the sherbet down past Brentford Grange ( ain’t nowhere near Brentford!!!) and back to the Big Road”
“ Over the Big Road wiv me and Stevie saying that the Humbug & Marzipan is only just a short left but Big Gerry takes us froo more mud and then left to Bowers Farm where we are met by some funny lookin sheep – someone said they was Allpactup’s I fink”
“ At last, we’s back to the goody shop and Johnny’s laid on chips (yum yum) and me and Barney sneak down a Tizer or two”
“ Head Boy Roger gives it large about what a good sherbet trail it was and Jane takes some of our pocket money off us for tryin ter guess how much weight she’s gonna suddenly lose shortly”
“Allo Mum, I’m ‘ome”
“ Hallo Micky – OMG, look at the state of your shoes, and trousers, and hands.............................”

 

Copyright :   MWJProductions MMX111