The Brewery Outlet Hash w/up
The Christmasy-iest , Santa-iest sparkle-iest Hash
Matt had promised (extensively on Facebook!), that this would be “the hashiest hash of the year….the one with everything which HWH3 holds so dear; hills, shiggy, playgrounds, singing, kissing, fancy dress....oh and beer. Plus, not forgetting the world-first unveiling of the ’Roll Santa down a hill' game!”
Hmmm, perhaps the self-promot-iest hash for starters, but let’s wait a while before we pass judgement…..
The assorted Santas, reindeer, fairies, elves and a smattering of random Xmas characters - Mick the Xmas Grinch (?), Maggie the Human Sparkler and Aud the Lush! – gathered together at The Brewery Outlet in the centre of High Wycombe for the Annual Xmas Fancy Dress Hash.
Various symbols were promised along the way for this ‘Hashiest of Hashes’, although it must be pointed out though that (in my humble opinion) none of these symbols were quite as good as the previous weeks’ Drunken Angels!
The run stopped for its first carol by the Christmas tree in Frogmoor, though I’m not sure the locals appreciated this quite as much as we did….Simon especially who instantly assumed the role of hash-oir master (hash choir if you still haven’t read last week’s write-up!) Then, for those who hadn’t quite finished their Christmas shopping, a trip to Morrisons for that last minute gift….or maybe some sprouts?
Things then took a darker turn as we were dragged through the industrial estate in Wycombe, although we were quite safe with so much Christmas spirit and sparkles to protect us from any unsavoury characters lurking in the dark. I must admit that I did manage to mainline about half a bottle of glitter around this stage – if I’d sneezed, it would have lit up the night. The other half went roughly in Matt R’s direction…well his beard to be more precise, which was henceforth a lovely shade of crimson and pink, perfect for his day job at HMP Aylesbury!
For the children amongst us there was the ritual hash trip to the playground…oh no wait, that was just the adults on the climbing frame wasn’t it – judging by the tight fit on the slide, I think that a few Santas might have to lose some weight rather quickly if they’re to avoid getting stuck down any Xmas chimneys!
After trudging up the hill towards Hughenden Manor, we then had the first ever ‘Roll Santa down a hill’ game…..safe to say Ant did survive and I think he is keen to play again next year….when he can stand straight again. I’m sure he said something about clearing the mole hills next year so he could go a bit faster…!
After a carol stop at St Michael’s church (“The bells, the bells!!!”....oh they’ve stopped!) we headed back for the bright lights of Wycombe via Santa’s secret grotto. More Carols ?……”NO” shout the Hash “take us back to the beer…please!”.
So to recap, did the run live up to those wild claims?
Dark-est hash - the closest hash to the Winter Solstice (when the nights are longest)
Short-iest - the Kiddie option (which nobody took) was about 2km, which is very short…even Mike refused to do that one!
Punch-iest - witnessed by the Shorts upon their earlier return to The Brewery Outlet; as Judy remarked (somewhat too gleefully I thought), “it was a proper punch-up followed by restraints, handcuffs, and a police van - quite exciting really!”
Santa-iest - I gave up counting, but there were many….hmmm which struck me, what should you call a collective gathering of Santas? A quick online search revealed that Sack (42%) was the favourite term, followed by Merriment (21%), Jingle (18%) and Sleigh (9%). Rotundity wasn’t too popular with 0%….though don’t tell Ant eh?
Wycomb-est - well, I can’t recall us hashing from anywhere closer to the centre of Wycombe? I’m sure that Gerry can provide plenty of detail as to how to measure the exact centre of a town, but it seemed pretty central to me, when we gathered underneath the Old City Hall for the pre-hash briefing.
Camp-est - no, I’m not referring to Roger’s glowing reindeer protuberance, but the fact that we interrupted the bell-ringers (or campanologists as reliably informed by Mr Bellamy) at ‘St Michael & All Angels’ church with one of our Ho Ho Ho carol stops. Incidentally Mark also noted that in his ‘many years of hashing’, no two consecutive hashes had ever met at the same point (the aforesaid church), ‘
Booz-iest - the fact that the drinking started early, with many Santas quaffing pints of Porter before the hash had even started, augured well on the booze front. And, with 22 beers on tap, let’s just say the booze front was extensive!
Well, I guess on balance, it certainly did! Thanks Matt and Mark for a fabulous hash (oh, probably the smell-iest as well, forgot about the copious quantities of garlic bread back at The Brewery Outlet!)
Now, I’ve just got to work out how to get myself out of this 10 year old’s fairy outfit, unravel my lights display, and deglitter myself before heading off for work……
[Footnote - Ant would like to reassure everyone, that no Santas were harmed in the ‘Roll Santa Down a Hill’ game played at Hughenden House…though he does now have a persistent leak and is feeling a little deflated]