Chip Advisor

1412

Date : 25/07/17
Hare : Keyboard Ken
Scribe : Doormat
Venue : The Crown
Hounds : 28     Dogs : 0
Recorded distance : 10.78 km
Recorded time : 87.60 min
Uphillness : 145.60 ft

The now regular weather pattern of alternate glorious evening followed a week later by monsoon had favoured Ken as we gathered at a Ley Hill bathed in sun shine. The Crown's beer garden was already crowded with locals, cyclist and dog walkers enjoying the late evening sunshine there was even someone taking their Vespa for a walk! The Vespa owner turned out to be very own Spy who was doing his bit to save the environment by swooping 4 wheel for 2, turns out he wasn’t taking his eco worrier sacrifice to zero carbon by pushing it but the thing had broken down, they're built for the Italian Riviera not pot hole riddled Buckinghamshire byways.

The gloss was taken off this pastoral idyll by the realisation that Scribbler wasn’t here so couldn’t be bought with ale to do the write up for me, a chore I detest.

Ken who is now famed for his kenathons assured us tonight’s run was just over 5 miles but his assurance failed to stop the murmurings in the ranks after all hares are renowned for their use of alternative facts. After being told the first check was one of 9 ways the on on was eventually called along Blackwell Hall Lane before cutting across the golf course to Ley Hill common, we almost lost Hawkeye at this point as the village hall was hosting an MGs owners club gathering. A right turn on the common brought us swiftly back to the Crown, I’m sure there’s a rule about if you can see the pub! but it wasn’t beer time yet and that would have been far to short for a kenathon. So on on back across Blackwell Hall Lane to Tyler’s Hill where the route diverted to take in a mountain bike pump track.

Once out of the woods it was open rolling countryside and a herd of what looked like white park cows with calves much to Chicken Lickens dismay, time to deploy the cow protection squad. Crazy Alan suggested I should have a hash name change from Doormat to Matadoor .

All had been going really well until the last check at the edge of Cowcroft Wood; an arrow indicated the route went down towards the old brick works but we missed the flour blobs continuing round the hedge line so charge off down the hill, most of the pack retraced their steps back up the hill some thought it easier just to continue along the brick works lane making the kenathon even longer.

Back at the Crown the evening was still worm enough for us to gather in the beer garden and enjoy some particularly fine ales all be it at £4 a pint.

I’ve no idea what the final mileage was but it was considerably more than 5 miles, not that anyone complained as it was a stunning route on a lovely evening, many thanks Ken.