Date : 29/06/10
Hare : Benchbreaker
Scribe : Rocky Road
Venue : The Feathers
Hounds : 35     Dogs : 0
Recorded distance : 0.00 km
Recorded time : 0.00 min
Uphillness : 0.00 ft

The GM tried to get a word in but it was not to be. No, it wasn’t Millie and Megan this time but two customers trying to exit the car park. As the hashers showed their diverse skills by directing traffic doing tricky manoeuvres, the GM was silenced.

Not for long I might say, after much cheering and waving order was called and we were informed it would be a “leisurely hash” with time to take in the views and to take the ‘ON INN’ together. A nice man at the National Trust had given us permission to run in the grounds of Cliveden, so into the grounds we went.

So we ran across some grass and into some trees and down a green lane and across some grass and round the round garden and past some tennis courts and some stables (shhhh quiet here) and a cottage or two and down some more green lanes. There were checks here and checks there and on-backs here and on-backs there and everywhere.

There was a pause, not for a check, but for some hashers to show off their skills on the assault course – actually a kids climbing frame – and Matt came swinging back like a monkey. Meanwhile Sarah and Anthony had found something else to play on and went skipping off with their friends to some parallel bars. The serious hashers carried on. Jo seems to have managed 10 minutes silence (why?) but was lost for words when she broke it. Just a wheeze to get in hash trash I reckon.
But then …….. is that an elephant! Then a bear and then some phallic looking snails pointing to the heavens! What a cultural trail this is turning out to be or should that be sculptural trail. Mick, full of beans and enjoying retirement mounted a snail but then had difficulty finding the way down. I think he trod on Helen and Chris’s faces - the likeness to them in the carving was remarked upon.
But I digress - back to the running. There was more running and pauses to admire the views – we could see Ade’s house or was that Maidenhead, anyway more running and talk of football. What were you doing on Sunday? Sam was busy trying to get back from Birmingham on foot – only 90 miles in 3 days!

At some point there was a long short split and the longs went the scenic route down to the river. The shorties were led by the GM who got caught by his own on-backs but the group stayed close to make the on-backs easier. Miss WL brought up the rear and checked we behaved ourselves. We were soon at the rendezvous to meet the longs and The GM rubbed his hands in anticipation as the longs faced a mountain of steps to climb. As an afterthought he sneaked down a few and put down an on-back, just in case they were racing to the top. They arrived duly puffed but at walking pace and were soon racing off again towards the house, following Hong Kong rules. Now I gather that means the hare stays in front and if you get ahead you have to buy him (or the whole hash) a drink! One drink between 35 hounds wouldn’t go far. Thanks Simon for the tip off as I strayed in front of the GM as we neared the pub. Nobody explained Hong Kong rules to me or I didn’t listen. As there was no flour laid it was as well to stay behind our lord and master and us shorties didn’t get away with steps as we all climbed up 172 to the memorial – a big statue of somebody. Thanks for the chat about your mammoth bike ride Dick – I hardly noticed the steps – peanuts compared to 24hours in the saddle.
There were a couple of jokes from the GM en route- one about a laughing oxo cube and another about Wayne Rooney in a box ???!!!

As we sneaked around the house with no flour, Sarah speculated about afternoon tea at the hotel. It’s £49 and a room for the night ranges from £210 to £725, in case you were thinking of a sleepover after the hash. Ah but, they are hand-made luxurious beds. You could throw in a champagne cruise for £90 or a single rose for £10.50. Roz thinks they do weddings – well we did see Matt and her sneaking off to the ‘Fountain of Love’ …………

It was a balmy or was it a barmy evening and a lot of hot hashers arrived back at the pub (together) ready to drink it dry and munch some chips.

The TOSCA reappeared after a long absence and after many nominations was awarded to Dan for returning after a long absence – just like the Tosca. Also a very special award of an engraved pewter tankard was made to Sam for 500 runs, well run Sam. Phil is filling slots for the ‘not the ridgeway’ relay on August 15th.

Thanks for a ‘different’ run David (He knows men in high places!) and nice fries too.