Hashes

1437

Date : 02/01/18
Scribe : Sarah
Hounds : 37     Dogs : 3
Recorded distance : 5.20 miles
Recorded time : 67.95 min
Uphillness : 671.00 ft

Room for a big one? We all gathered (huddled!) under the porch roof of the pub because our hare had done it again! Chosen the loveliest day for a hash. Ironically, she had also dragged (probably kicking and screaming due to the weather) Fair Weather out to set this hash with her. Have people not realised yet that Rocky Road setting a hash also means weather warning?!? Can anyone actually remember the last time Rocky Road set a hash where: the sun was shining, or mud was non-existent, or the winds were still? No? Neither can I. I can remember: gales, heavy rain showers, thunderstorms… And yes, that’s right, tonight was no exception. The rain was hammering down!

So, it all began… “Oi! This is a live hash! The hares departed a short while ago so flour should be fresh! One route, 4+ miles. Short cut at your peril. Usual checks, regroups and on backs. Mostly on the right, sometimes on the left. Important – leave the traffic cone on the footpath. It is covering a BIG HOLE! Do not remove.” Dave recalls Rocky Road’s very carefully written instructions.

We’re off! For a meander around ever nook and cranny of the Rose Avenue estate. With a jaunt down Manor Road, a spell in Common Wood and lashings of rain. Other than Moose nearly coming a cropper on a toppled over road sign and Alan progressively getting slower and slower as his toning sports jeans soaked up the atmosphere. There’s not much to say other than it was a well laid, well planned, well wet hash.

A welcomed pit stop a Chez Burrows for fabulous mulled beverages and of course the infamous Rocky Road. Those short cutters missed it, they were warned! Us walkers were very glad of the opportunity to dry off and warm up before the gaggle arrived. Thanks Dave for being a fabulous host and Rose for assisting him in the preparations!

Back at the pub the GM starts his speech: “It was hardly raining, there could have been real mud, there could have been a tsunami or an ark could have come floating by and waved at us and said no we have got enough. Anyway, we could have done a lot worse! I enjoyed it! Having seen the state of my leggings. And my dog (had to be taken away). Fairweather (didn’t bring the fair weather). David is not taking any credit for this because it is too muddy and wet. Maggie, you are getting a reputation I think, aren’t you? You and rain go hand in hand. People will start to think it’s a Maggie run I’ll start to miss it. Anyway, thanks for the run, thanks for the chips and thanks for the ON INN at your house.”

Oh Oh… Zach and Charlotte stood up to show off Zach’s Christmas present to Charlotte… a sparkly engagement ring. Roger does check that it is not a prosthetic hand. Zach is quick to reply NO. The GM asks whether there was an answer to the question. A heckle came back from the back… “Well she’s wearing it Roger so that’s a good sign.” Roger replies “Well I would wear it as well if I was given a lovely ring”. Jokes banded about the pub about having 14 days to take it back.

It happened to be the first Tuesday of the month, so, this meant Tosca night. This also meant Andy needed another beer. The Tosca has got another new item of clothing. Not just a red Gillet but now a white skirt too thanks to the Marlow gang. Ade’s contribution, rather than clothing, is to give the Tosca a black eye!

Nominations:

From the Cope’s run from Lethern Bottle. Nomination for Nicky for essentially seducing Matt with beer to do her write up…. Didn’t understand the rest. Next, for GM for not apologising to Kevin for suggestion his hash name to Foie Gras. Again, no one understood.

From John’s run from the Dumb Bell. Nominations for the hare for his attempt to cultivate cornflake bushes and lentil trees in the Chalfont area when Crazy knows that only Frosties can be grown there in winter. Ade replies “What about an iceberg lettuce?” “snow peas” from Rose. Does anyone understand this nomination?

From Scribbler’s run at the Brewery shop, a nomination for Mark for eagerly agreeing to do the write up and then forgetting to send one in/write one [ed: It did arrive that evening and is up online now]. I understood this nomination!

Finally, on the shopping run from Tesco last week a nomination for Des finally getting around to washing his Mexican hat. Unfortunately, the wash cycle was too hot and his hat became a Chullo. A woolly hat? A musical instrument? Do you understand? A nomination for the scribe for not including any of Crazy’s jokes amongst the funny ones. A nomination for Gerry who seems to be the only hasher running alongside Sandra.

None of these gets to hold the prize. The winner is a woman that can light up a man or turn him off with one finger. The award goes to Mrs Cope… Blank faces… no one understands… Hells Bells asks who’s Mrs Cope is? It is pointed out there is no Mrs Cope. Tash is Mrs Staines and Louise is Ms Brown. Oh dear Roger! In summary…Louise gets the award for controlling the Christmas light on Paul’s head with her mobile phone. I must point out that Roger seemed rather surprised and perplexed that Louise hasn’t taken Simon’s name, and continued to dig his way into a hole. Until Helen pointed out even your own wife uses her maiden name.

Anyway, a lovely run, great refreshments at Chez Burrows and fabulous chips! I’ll see you at your next run Rocky Road (with snow boots, full waterproof clothing, a life vest, a snorkel…)