Hashes

1140

Date : 17/07/12
Hare : Rocky Road
Scribe : Mexican Des
Venue : The Red Lion
Hounds : 37     Dogs : 0
Recorded distance : 10.41 km
Recorded time : 97.03 min
Uphillness : 729.00 ft

It is an ancient Hasher
And he stoppeth one of three
By thy grey hair and muddy boots
Now wherefore stopp'st thou me?

'The Bridegroom's doors are open wide
And he's an FRB'
He holds him with his high-vis vest
'There was a hash' quoth he

The Wedding-Guest sat on a stone
He cannot choose but hear
And thus spake on that ancient man
The  bespectacled hasher

'Dave and Maggie set the trail
Five, four & three point five
A falsie gave the longs what for
As the run came alive

Merrily did the whole pack go
To Pugh's wood north of Penn
Down at Penn Bottom the first split
Awaited the pack then'

'God save thee, ancient Hasher!
From the fiends that plague thy thoughts!
Why lookst thou so?'  'With my free will
I chose the Longs not Shorts.

And I had done a hellish thing
And it would work 'em woe.
The Shorts they splintered into two
Dividing friend and foe

Cassie was much fought over
But David he held sway
As later Lesley and her crew
To the Red Lion came that day

Through Common Wood the Longs zig-zagged
(The Mediums slightly straighter)
Audra teased for cake consumed
Roger was the baiter

Then at Penn House the scene it changed
To terrifying mud
Save only for odd flecks of red
For Maggie's nosebleed blood

Shiggy, shiggy everywhere
And all the hash did sink
Shiggy, shiggy everywhere
Twas like a skating rink

Beyond that field all hope was lost
That ever we'd survive
But Simon spotted an orange slug
Called 'black' so there was life

Penn Bottom reached, we soldiered on
And gladly did we cheer
When Ade upon a hilly check
Could see his house from here

At Twichels Wood a blackbird sang
So called in Simon's words
Because once others of that hue
Were named as fowl not birds

Fed up with mud I Medium'd
Upon the main road back
And by half nine all different groups
Were at the Red Lion back

The chips were brought, our sizes sought
For T shirts on the house.
Good wishes signed for wedding bliss
For those soon to be spoused.

For going Long I've penance done
And penance more will do
By having to tell my awful tale
To another mug like you.

He liveth best who loveth all
The awkward hasher folk.
And now you're free to join the weds'
The ancient Hasher spoke.

The Wedding-Guest said to himself
'Hard work this setting a hash!
I'll leave it to Maggie, Dave et al
I'm going on the lash'