Having finished work early and packed provisions for the journey I set off for tonight's hash, picking up Helen on the way! Several eons later we arrived at the Full Moon, only slightly late, but later than our usual 5 minutes. To our joy however there were still some fluorescent bibs lurking on the common. Not sure whether they had just done a lap of the common or were in fact late comers as well, perhaps they had problems on the border with security and passport control as well!
As we missed the briefing, I will have to make it up. Blobs of flour, on the left when not on the right, various hills, 3.4 short, 4.5 medium and 5 long…. that can't be far off. I'm sure there was the usual background mumblings of hashers wittering to each other as well.
The first casualty of the evening was Sarah, who within minutes of setting off (on the lap of the common presumably) lost her footing on the lumpy grass and twisted her ankle. I didn't actually get to see her and was told of her fate after we arrived, but apparently she heard a cracking noise, must have been the twig she tripped on… I hope!
So, finally setting off on the hash, all present and correct and injury free, well apart from Sarah who was now supping beer in the pub garden (cunning), and apart from Helen who admitted to suffering from a groin injury, off we ran down route CY48 (according to Roger's map!) A little downhill stretch was nice to start with, little bit of shiggy but nothing too treacherous! It was here that I noticed Gerry's t-shirt. A very sparkly number of an elephant and the greeting 'Jambo', which then prompted the obvious elephant joke involving Noddy and Big Ears. When it comes to jokes along these lines I prefer the one that goes… what's large and grey and sings about having a fine romance? Have a think about as you read on.
With Roger bringing up the rear we took a left turn took us up dotted route TU3 on Roger's map, intersecting TU2 to run on up TU5 past Tring Grange Farm and Cholesbury Common. Somewhere round here we ran across a large field of crops, following a narrow path. Strangely enough I wasn't at the back thanks to an on-back before entering the this field, meaning the FRBs were somewhere lagging behind unable to pass due to the narrow path. Taking her mind off her groin for a few minutes, Helen admitted to concentrating on the GM's bottom as she closely followed him, not only as it is a sight to behold but as Ade pointed out probably more due to the fact that she could not see over the crops to admire the view. I think Helen got her own back later on by laughing at Ade's rave dancing, but it is very hard rave dancing when not actually at a rave, and without any music at all for that matter so maybe he could be excused this once.
A regroup at the end of the field gave Dick a chance to wring the sweat out of his headband onto Frumpy's head, which was nice, and to have a chance to catch our breath before on-on'ing down the hill. There soon followed a rather rude and coarse conversation that appeared to shock the life out of Tom who overheard a few words… but was soon joining in the conversation. I couldn't possibly repeat what was said because for once I do not want anything rude, smutty, suggestive, out of context, uncouth or embarrassing relating to me in the Hash Report, the perks of being the scribe. (I don't trust Gerry however, I wonder how much I could bribe him not to put in one of his asides!)
With weary legs the end was near and it was on-on through a garden with a marquee, but still no On Inn in sight… until suddenly we arrived back at the pub, I must have missed those welcome words while chatting away. We filled the pub garden and enjoyed lovely chips, thanks Roger and thanks for a good run.
Oh, and what is large and grey and sings A Fine Romance? Elephants Gerald! Boom boom!!