Firstly, I feel I must put hashers minds to rest by declaring that the flat tyre I got on my own run on 6th May from Merlin’s Cave, and which seemed to be the sole content of GM’s write up which almost entirely failed to mention the quite superb run, was declared terminally unwell and put down at Quik Fit next day. I had always viewed a screw as a pleasurable thing until the one which took up residence in my tyre.
That out of the way, on to The Squirrel and the return to haring duties of Peter the Kettle. The evening was very warm but also blessed by the weatherman with a warning of “heavy showers”. Remembering Maggie & Jane’s run from the venue it was tempting to reach for the water proofs but, as is often the case, the forecast was pants. Dunno why the Met invest in computers, they might as well stick to hanging seaweed out of the window to see if it’s raining.
After the usual rules, regulations and a mention of the dreaded “hash dash”, Peter set us in motion across the road and along the edge of Penn Woods. I have to mention the efforts of Pocket Rocket who tripped over the kerb not 20 yards from the pub thus seriously threatening the Moose’s record of going base over apex before even leaving the muster point. Fine effort Pocket.
We spun past the Vicarage and pleasurably through the woods until the road brought us to a stop. From here the trail led on to Mop End past something called The Rough Park which sounds like a blonde trying to get her car lined up with the kerb to me.
Right here and on passing Mop End Farm (very original name !!) to the short/medium/long split at Beamond End Lane. The longs of course went long – turning right up aforementioned lane whilst a protracted discussion set in between those shorts who wanted to become Medium for the night and those who wanted to remain as short as possible.
Eventually a bit of flim flam from the GM convinced the doubters to head straight on (medium) with the carrot of a bit knocked off later on. Would say this was not entirely convincing as David had the map upside down at the time. However, on we went up past the exotically named Beamond End Ranch – yeehah, with another conflab about the route and GM pulling rank to order us onwards.
We emerged somewhere in darkest Holmer Green where, after another conference, much cursing and wailing, under the guidance of Helles Belles hubby – who I might point out actually lives in Holmer Green, we went completely the wrong way in fine SCS style. This was however quickly rectified and after the obligatory heavy sarcasm, we turned through 180 degrees and went the other, and still I think wrong way.
After a long dash down and up along a local race track with frequent shouts of “petrol” as the local inbreeds tried to skittle us, peering at the road from behind the large pink dice, tree sized air fresheners and c more buns figures, we emerged at the edge of Penn Woods.
Gingerly crossing the road we entered the woods. Now here we split with those of us most knackered from Sunday’s Thame 10K and Barney who managed to log an excellent time without actually running it, motoring straight through whilst the GM took the others on the large loop Peter had so kindly put in.
We all emerged at the pub eventually although, with Cassie apparently going walk about, it was a process which took some time.
All I know about the long route is that it was well long, had a water stop at P.K’s house where I believe the hose came into play and that Helen reputedly ended up looking like the singing detective with a boat race covered in bits of paper. Oh and lets not forget the infamous hash dash.
Safely back at the pub it was time for some serious liquid intake. Peter had gone pale when given a written estimate for chips so there weren’t any as he said he hadn’t had time to arrange a loan, particularly with the credit crunch.
As, however, it was the auspicious occasion of the 10th anniversary of Aud and Tracey’s first night of mayhem with HWH3, choccy cake was available to keep ravenous hashers away from the local kebab vans.
Well done Peter. Great to have you back in harness. Well done girls, wouldn’t have been the same without you.
Anyone fancy lending me a few quid towards the tyre????