So this was the evening when I realised I really had been stitched up...It started with Phil having to work late at the office, but trying to avoid disappointing Sarah and her friend Emma, who had promised Audrey that they would come and do the hash. This meant that I had to step in and go for another short run - having already been out before breakfast that morning (I know I had promised myself I would get more exercise but this was going a bit far!). Well, despite having to pick up Emma (who it turns out Audrey already knew - is there anyone in the area she doesn't know?) we still made it to the Crown before the hares, but the hash was soon called to order and off we set looking for flour, or was it toilet roll?
Audrey had warned of a very steep hill, and it wasn't long before we appreciated what she meant. Thank goodness it hadn't been raining in the last few days - as it was several of the hounds, and the dogs, struggled to get down. And it was then, as we waited at Bennett End, and Gerry asked where Phil was, that it dawned on me I would have to do the hash write up in his absence. I really don't know how he keeps managing to avoid it!
Anyway - once regrouped we set off up the hill to the first long/short split - only a small one which gave me chance to catch my breath, and then on together through Town End and the churchyard. Predictably I heard the yelps of two thirteen year old girls suddenly realising they were running over gravestones in the night (and they are currently reading a book about Vampires and forests at school - bad timing!)
At the next long/short split I decided I would take the girls on the short, even though no one else was going, as I wasn't sure how long we would be able to keep up - and there was another chance to regroup later.
The long short split was chaotic, nobody knew where to go, or even that it was any more than a regroup. The hares were nowhere to be seen. Eventually they arrived mumbling and staring at a map. Two minutes later Tracey turned the map the other way up and stared some more.
However, all attention was on Jo, who seemed to be holding one ear, leaping round in circles and jumps, and uttering screams of “Eeek” very, very loudly. A few bounces later she became more coherent (but more mysterious) by yelling “I can’t hear you, I can’t hear you” into the night. Having just run through a graveyard by moonlight, rumours of demonic possession began to circulate.
But no! it turned out that it was just her father phoning her to say that she wasn’t an auntie yet. Most people would take this lack of news with a calm and indifference bordering on nonchalance, but Jo seemed to feel it required much bubbling over and excitement. (To the unknowing it must be explained that Jo’s sister-in law was pregnant and expecting a baby to pop out at any moment.)
On the whole, despite the early fears of a dark and satanic possession complete with vampires and possibly werewolves, the pack rather enjoyed the entertainment.
A long, slow loop later, with much going in wrong directions the long and short cutters seemed to coalesce into a single pack with nobody noticing the join. It looked like I had inadvertently taken a wrong turn on the shortcut which actually enabled us to join up with everyone else for another loop.
Despite the fact we were at the end of Emma's road, we jogged on to the final long/short split where a now significant number of short-cutters (and a hare) decided on a steady walk back to the Crown.
The long cutters turned off to the left with Sam leading the way in some style. And, when we got to the aforesaid stile he announced that he was going to go the long way again, no matter that it was felt that the trail took a much shorter route. He asked if anyone wanted to join him and the whole pack obligingly followed as, at least, it seemed he knew where he was. Numerous fast hills and miles later we arrived back at the pub. Tired but with no more fits of rabid ecstasy from Jo (who I assume was by then too tired for whatever spirits that possessed her to give her another trance).
The Crown was welcomingly spacious on our return. It had been a lovely evening, dry and relatively warm. The GM entered with lots of leftover birthday cake, which was scrummy and made up for the fact I had to leave before the chips which were rumoured.......next time Phil sets the hash I really must make a diary note not to be around the next week - and more importantly to make sure he is!"