Chip Advisor

The Falcon

Wooburn Moor

Chip advice dated: 25 August 2015 - Hash #no 1308

Up down pub ranking

“To Beer or not to Beer…that is the question”. Well, if it was cider you were after, then the scrumpy aficionados pronounced themselves delighted, with 4 different harvests on tap. If it was beer…well, I’m afraid that was a different story. On the plus side, the Pride was ‘drinkable’, but on the minus side the Brakspear (£3.70) was not, and the DoomBar seemed to be on & off quicker than a barmaid’s…..well, let’s not go there eh. Just to complete the alcoholic drinks round-up, Peroni was a staggering £5.40 (yes, I admit, it was my Dad, who burst out of the pub when we returned shouting “You’re not goin’ to bloody well believe this Matt!’ - he wasn’t happy), whilst other die-hard hasher beer monsters were forced to drink Kronenberg (Matt R, “There was no beer left when I arrived at the bar…literally no beer!”) and Guinness (Paul, “Well it can’t be as bad as what I’ve just had, can it?”). On balance then, I’m afraid I’m going to have to weigh this towards the beer drinkers, with a nod towards quality enjoyed by the apple munchers, and a double nod towards Audrey’s fantastic apple vodka, by far the best drink on the night.
Not beer:
£1.05 for an STD. The attending biker club might read that line and get all excited. The hashers were less so - ‘distinctly average’ was the conclusion.
Straight & curly chips - double tick. Condiments - half-tick. Sauces - quarter-tick. Quantity - minus tick. Quantity when sitting near Mike - double minus tick.
OK, I’ll admit it - I did have a quick peek at this pub online first. 3pm: My preconceptions were: small carpark, cosy rooms, cheap beer (Weatherspoon-owned), and good fish but poor chips (the latter being far more worrying as we never seem to get fish on the hash….maybe if we ran on a Friday?) However, upon closer inspection the most recent review was Mar-11, so I guess you could discount all of the above - after all, 5 ‘pub years’ outrank even ‘dog years’. 10pm: Well you can ditch the cheap beer for a start! I must admit, it was a lot nicer inside than I’d expected, and very snug once all the sweaty hashers had piled into the back room on a humid August evening….or should that read ‘smog’? Ant said that the food here was good, especially with a 2:1 deal on a Thursday, although if the bar service was anything to go by, you’d be lucky to be served by late Friday. Parking, yes was poor, but plenty of roads nearby and it’s only really the Jag-drivers amongst us who complain about such restrictions - the rest of us drive clapped out cars which we don’t mind leaving on the road. So, I’m going to be generous here, having wavered between a ‘5’ and a ‘6’, I’ll go higher, mainly because of the sign saying ‘Duck or Grouse’ above a low doorway which happened to amuse me.


Hummery: If you like drinking cider in a snug, you’ll feel smug. If you like drinking beer in a pub, ay there’s the rub. On balance, more of a Dodo than a Falcon.

Overheard on the hash (25th August 2015)

Summer…..Suuummmmerrrr!” [The Crawshaws] “It’s OK, she’s here by the gate”  [Kev]“That’s not Summer, that’s a labrador and it’s not even from the hash” “Well, it had 4 paws and a tail, how was I to know?” [The Crawshaws (a new Kardashian-lite reality family) have a set-to with Kev about their dog]

Oh, Kev, you got me all wet!” [Helen] “Well, so would I if I had feet the size of snowshoes and ran through a puddle next to you” [Matt]

I nearly didn’t make it up that slope, having avoided the steps” “Yup, I was waiting for a re-enactment of Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom” “Really, you think I’d be Indiana Jones” “No - you’d be the boulder” [Andy’s hopes of movie stardom are instantly dashed, crushed, and ground into pieces]

“Be careful guys - the ’S!’ means slippery bridge”  [Ant]  “Where’s the flour gone?” [Andy, Alex, Matt] “Oh, that’s the wrong way”  [Ant]”Well why did you warn us about the slippery bridge and mark it if it was the wrong way?” “Because you might have slipped” [Any wears all & sundry down with his logic]

“Helen, you are currently the meat in a rather large sandwich - you’d better hope nobody stops suddenly. I think they call it ‘super-dense crush load’ on the Indian railways” [Helen takes her life in her hands and runs in a narrow alleyway in-between Kev, Andy & Matt]

”Roger, can we have the ‘Short’ speech please?” [the collective plea goes out in the pub]


No. Date Hare Details
130825/08/15Speedbump & Sarah
Micks 500th run!