Chip Advisor

The Hampden Arms

Great Hampden


Up down pub ranking

[Mick] Pennine Baby Blonde (alas 3.7%!!) and Chiltern's Red Rye - true quaffing ale, on offer. Won't mention Rebellion Insipid Puny Ale. The Red Rye was a cracker, much enjoyed all round and decent value at £3.70 a jar. 7/10 [Matt] Oh there you go Mick….you almost didn’t mention the IPA….better luck next time, eh?! A small but eclectic choice, as is the norm here, all at reasonable prices - in fact, I think Mick is being a bit stingy with his 7/10, so I’m going to go 8/10 with an extra gold star for effort.
Not beer:
Mick] Cheapish L & S at 90p a pint with the brown fizzy stuff at £2.50 which ain't too bad even if it was crying out for the application of a large dark rum!! 7/10 [Matt] Am beginning to feel that this category isn’t worthy of Mick’s editorial talents….asking a man for whom ‘water’ is a kind of poison to judge a non-beer category is rather like putting Harold Shipman in sole charge of an old folks home. 90p is good, so again, upgrade to 8/10
[Mick] Plenty of good quality, piping hot chiperoonies for the troops with a well enjoyed and thoroughly merited top up. Roger's excellent Parpin, sorry Parkin ( night time blow back syndrome) & rock cakes meant no one went home less than stuffed. [Matt] Can’t add to that other than to note: Mike absent…plenty of chips….Mike’s hash last week….virtually no chips….anybody starting to spot a theme here?
[Mick] Somewhat short on seating but a convivial hostelry with a great buzz amongst the werewolves, ghosts, wizards and skeletons. 8/10 [Matt] Being one of the first back (having wimped with the Shorts again, injury-assisted), gave me the opportunity to appreciate at first-hand how quickly the locals became accustomed to the hash….9:01pm, woman (Nikki) covered in (fake) blood walks in = general consternation and shock….9:15pm, witch and a skeleton walk in together = nobody bats an eyelid. Even our occasional famous tourist hasher, Mikey Bushell went virtually unnoticed (there again, he was a 5ft ghost, so you could see both through him and over him!). Anyway, I had a seat in front of a genuine log fire (big plus point), albeit I ended up blocking the way to the gents and so had to move eventually (minus point) in what passed for a rather cramped front room of a fairly small house. Still, loads of parking outside, hash hounds were happy, Roger was auditioning for Bake-Off, and none of the combustible costumes went up in flames, so a roaring success I’d say?


Hummery: Like a well-lit galleon, floating amidst a sea of woodland, the Hampden Arms is glowing on the outside (being replete with coloured lights) and welcoming on the inside (full of beer and warmth). A ‘right nice’ hostelry with well-kept ales and a chef that knows how to keep the chip pan going.  


Overheard on the hash (1st Nov 2016)


“Hang on, you can’t see me very well through that lens” “I’m not bloody surprised - you’re a vampire, you’re not meant to have a reflection” [Alex’s pre-hash mug shot doesn’t quite go to plan] 


“What did you come as then Des?”  “Something Mexican”  “Anything scary in particular….Day of the Dead inspired maybe?”  “No, it’s just a Mexican hat” [somebody needs to tell Des to modify his outfit from time to time]



“You can take the group photo Andy, as you’re the only one who didn’t come in a Halloween costume” “Yeah, but he still managed to put a horrible mask on”  “Ah ….but that’s not a mask though…is it?” [Andy discovers the all-inclusive delights of not bothering with fancy dress]


Smile… again…..did that take?….ah no, it’s locked…..I think your phone may be updating Maggie….bloody Microsoft! [Andy 


“Right Andy, you can carry the pumpkin then”  “Why me?”  [Andy enquires feebly] “Well, we’re all wearing flammable capes, and you’re holding the pumpkin now anyway”


“How did I end up arriving 10 minutes late for a hash that was only 5 minutes away by car having left home at 7:30pm?”  [Nikki plays catch-up with the hash] “Because you’re a female driver?” [Matt discovers the difference between fake v real blood]


“I was having considerable breathing difficulties….” [Hawkeye’s explanation for leaving behind his impressive wolf head costume in the car park]


“Ow, ow, owwww! I can’t see, I’ve got fake blood in my eye!” “Well it looks more realistic now if that’s any consolation?” “Damn, now I have got a real thorn stuck in me, and that’s real blood….” [Nikki’s outfit improves as the hash progresses]


“If you’re looking for a couple of vampires, a ghoul and a few witches, they went that way, about 5 minutes ago” [Rob, having stopped for a ‘comfort break’, stops a couple of slightly worried mountain bikers to ask them if they’d seen the Shorts….or something approaching that description!]


“Arghhh!” [Mick plummets facefirst] “ Vampire down!” 


Bloody hell! If that’s what you look like after a run, God knows what state the rest of your group will turn up in! [Locals to the Shorts as they return back]


“Alex, you’re looking very fresh - have you changed? “ “Yes, this is my evening cape” [as the man who changed his red dress for another one at the pub back on the Murder Mystery Hash, it should have come as no surprise that Alex would have a spare vampire outfit this time round!]


“Did you manage to find your way home OK then Nikki?” [message to Nikki] “ Well, I turned out of the pub in the correct direction, but then I sneezed and my glasses fell off which I couldn’t find, so I ended up turning into a person’s drive and….well, yes I did get home eventually!”


No. Date Hare Details
137301/11/16Rocky Road & Dave
Fancy Dress Hallowe'en Run
129128/04/15Dashwood Dick & Muttley
122001/01/14General Menace
New Year's Day Hash
119309/07/13Helles Belles & Ron
117105/02/13Doormat & Happy Feet
107905/07/11Whipping Boy