Hash 1312

Full of cold and chronic sinuses, I didn't want to let anyone down so left home to head for the Hash, knowing full well I had to do the scribe.

Whilst driving into the centre of High Wycombe a section of the A40 was closed, so I had to do a massive detour. Finally arrived with seconds to spare having overcome adversity to the welcome from Roger, I love you, I love you, I love you. Thanks Roger. He was so relieved he didn't have to do the write up.

We all gather round in the carpark and are introduced to a new virgin hasher called Sean. Welcome. Your life will be enhanced from this day forward.

Ian said long route 5.4 miles

Short route 3.4 miles. Perfect.

Apparently Ian said the hash would be flat. Yeah right! (I missed that bit rummaging in my car for the torch.)

We left the pub and headed parallel to the A40 on the FLAT. So far so true! Next we took a right up Piddington Lane. Well that is the end of the flat hash. Always a killer.

Certainly for us SCBs at the back anyway. Oxygen at the top would be a useful addition next time. A remarkable event took place as Howard did an on-back. Big congratulations to you. Not a dodgy shoelace in sight.

Eventually the road started to level out and we arrived at Wheeler End Common.

Audrey was enlightening me on the fact that Ian purchased the Brickmakers to make it his home. lovely that was to hear. Also Audrey said she lived in the trees. Oh she might have said behind the trees, yes that was it.

We then took the road off Wheeler End Common up to Water something farm. We ran down the side of a horse field then jumped at an almighty scream from Kerry. There were horses in our torch light. "Don't worry," I said, "no cows here." I'm scared of horses too. A hazard of running in the country. Heading through a bit of wood we then had a regroup at a spot that in daylight would have been spectacular. On-on straight down the shiggy hill into Leygroves Wood.

We all headed right along a nice level track into Barn Wood where the long/short split was discovered.

SCBs went straight on. On a mission back to the pub. We came across a pair of lit-up eyes. A single Muntjac in the undergrowth minding its own business. All quite uneventful, back to the pub for the SCBs.

In the meantime the long route turned left at the split and headed up into Dell Wood towards the Wycliffe Centre. Somewhere en route I am reliably informed Zach Staines had a nasty moose. We wish him a speedy recovery. It sounded nasty from the account I heard back at the pub. The rest of the long-cutters continued to Horley Green turning right into Thirds Wood then Fillington Wood. I heard a rumour of nuisance hashers forming a human rolling roadblock in the woods. Doctor Beard Face and Paul Turner. Helles Belles was not impressed. The hash was then running parallel to Oxford Road before picking up the SCBs route through Fillingdon Farm to the pub.

Back at the pub I had a mahoosive soup. Being watched by many.

Audrey called me dim after I read off the Hash Trash: "What's green and sings? Elvis Presley". No-one laughed. Then Kerry took the Hash Trash off me and said "Elvis Parsley you Muppet!". My excuse was dim lighting and no glasses. Mick struggling with his very poor pint of Rebellion. Dick turned up for a cheap tick against his name and a pint. When the chips did turn up at 9:55pm - not that I was clock-watching - they were fabulous. Cheesy ones, thick ones and onion rings. Awesome.

Rob got a 250-run T shirt after 19 years of hashing with HWH3. No rush then! All in all a super night. Thanks Ian!